I closed a chapter of my life last year; I wrapped up the personal styling side of my business. It was time to let go.
I decided I wanted to celebrate my achievements but more importantly, release myself from any failures – perceived or otherwise. I wanted to close the chapter with love.
Prior to working with my final client, David and I spent a weekend in the country. We’d booked a day out horse riding, only there was a communication breakdown and we arrived at the stables on Saturday, to be told we were riding on Sunday. Fortunately, we’d also booked a cabin there for the night and we were invited to settle in early, albeit with a warning that the Wi-Fi wasn’t working.
An entire day without any plans and no contact with the outside world – our phones had no reception either – what could have been considered a disaster to some, felt like a precious gift to us. Aside from walking, talking and enjoying a leisurely lunch, we spent the day reading and resting.
In the afternoon I couldn’t settle with my book, so I pulled out my journal. Over the course of the next two hours I charted my career chronologically – from the very beginning until the present day – in fine detail. I even included my first baby-sitting job, right back in high school. I made note of everything I’d done and yes, what I’d achieved, but what I really wanted to make note of was every single thing that had not gone to plan; the disappointments, the ideas and projects I’d never managed to get off the ground, the things that had not worked out, the people who had let me down and the people I felt I had failed. I got all those conscious and unconscious negative thoughts and feelings out of my head and onto the page.
And then I forgave myself and let it all go.
That’s not to say I won’t ever think of those past experiences again, but now I have a powerful reminder that I made the decision to let go, and granted myself permission to move on.
I wanted to move forward with a clear head and an open heart and I can only do that when I’m willing to let go of anything that might cloud my self-belief and the vision I hold for my life. Yes, valuable lessons have been learnt and I’ve brought those with me, but I also gave myself permission to move into my future without being limited by my past.
One simple exercise.
A readiness to be totally honest with myself.
A desire to forgive.
A willingness to let go.
Forgive yourself for past failures – you were simply practicing for the next thing. Besides, life’s a journey of ups and downs.
© 2018 Esther Zimmer