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Waiting To Surface

One day I woke up and decided to stop rejecting her.

The woman who made so many mistakes.

The woman who felt deeply hurt and alone.

The woman who pretended she wasn’t hurting at all.

Instead, I decided to accept her.

In doing so I acknowledged her mistakes, her hurt, her loneliness – and I began to love her.

I decided to learn how to heal her hurt, how to enjoy her company, to discover what would make her feel happy again.

And in doing so, I could see that she may be broken, but she would mend. She was not unlovable, but she must first learn how to love herself.

That woman was me. 

I wanted to share this poem I wrote many years ago. It marked a turning point in my life and always reminds me of the importance of learning to love ourselves, and how much we – and life – can change.

I’ve recently reached another turning point; I’ve realised I neglect or leave things that are important to me undone – my writing, my work, expressing myself on social media – because that way I can’t be abandoned or rejected, I can’t possibly fail or lose.

Except that when I do this I’m abandoning, rejecting, failing and losing myself.

It’s human to avoid uncomfortable feelings and truths – but no matter how much we do – we are always met with ourselves in the end. Underneath the layers that life places upon us, we are always there, waiting to surface. 

So, I’m back and I’m staying this time. I hope you stay too.

Previously: The Intangible Treasures Of Summer…

Next: You Protect Your Heart, But It Hurts Anyway…

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